Logo March 2019

President Don O'Neill
8787 Bay Colony Dr
Naples, FL 34108

Newsletter Editor:
Thomas S. Conger
6326 Bonita Rd, Apt H104
Lake Oswego, OR 97035
tcink85***gmail.com

Communication Officer:
Harris B. McKee (Webmaster)
929 W Foster Ave Apt 705
Chicago, IL 60640-1682
h4mmckee***sbcglobal.net

Vice-President :Denny Denniston
266 West 91st St
New York, NY 10024-1101

Vice-President Gerald Kaminsky
136 Harold Road
Woodmere, NY 11598-1435

Co-Bequest Chairs
Red Facher
52 Collinwood Road
Maplewood, NY 07040-1038
David Armstrong
4600 N Ocean Boulevard, Ste. 206
Boynton Beach, FL 33435-7365
Arts & Legacy Committee
Oscar Arslanian
2489 North Edgemont St
Los Angeles, CA 90027-1054
Pete Bleyler
42 Wildwood Drive
West Lebanon, NH 03784
Secretary :Victor S. Rich
94 Dove Hill Drive
Manhasset, NY 11030-4060
Treasurer :Jim Baum
6 Penn Road, Apt 310.
Hanover, NH 03755-1288
Mini-Reunion Chairman: Hanover
Maynard B. Wheeler
P.O. Box 538
Grantham, NH 02753-0538
Class Historian/Necrologist
Harris McKee
Co-Head Agents :
Henry Eberhardt
20 Morgan Dr. #30,
Lebanon, NH 03766
413-335-0261.
Harris McKee
929 W Foster Ave Apt 705
Chicago, IL 60640-1682
(479) 619-7324
Roger McArt
3421 Ballybridge Circle, Apt 203
Bonita Springs, FL 34134-1998
Mini-Reunion Chairman:
Non-Hanover

Dave Prewitt
and Joan Prewitt
279 Warner Road
Wayne , PA 19087-2156

Women's Committee
Nyla Arslanian
nyla***discoverhollywood.com
Patti Rich
patti359***aol.com
Joan Prewitt
jtprewitt***hotmail.com

(Note that email addresses inWWW are disguised using *** for @ to provide some protectionagainst sites looking for email addresses. Replace the *** with @ before using.)
Class Web Site:http://www.dartmouth.org/classes/61/

Quick Links
Sections: Alumni Council Meeting, Bartlett Tower Society, Dartmouth College Fund, Fall 2019 Mini, Green Cards, London Mini, Princeton Game at Yankee Stadium, Women's Initiative

'61s:, Armstrong, [Arslanian, Nyla],Conger, Edwards, Cindy, Edwards, Facher, Horan, Johnson, Skip, Jozus, McArt, McElhinney, McKee, Marrone, Miller, Moore, Naegele, Naegele-Ellis, O'Neill, Persels, Prewitt, Joani], Rich, Patti], Richards, Rozycki, Schoening, Schoening, Jane, Sheldon, Stephens, Wheeler

250. Amazing how two and a half centuries streak by ya in such a hurry…  But, before we move forth toward completion of the college's first 300 years, let's drop back slightly to last year. In the November WWW we cited the resolution honoring Ivar Jozus and his steadfast efforts as long-time class Treasurer.

 

What was not cited in that issue was the Alumni Award bestowed on indefatigable Valedictorian/Class Prez/Webmaster/Co-Head Agent/WWW Layout Artiste & whatever-else-we-ask-him-to-do, Harris McKee in late November (missed WWW publication date). A class Bulletin was circulated on the Internet, but here is the citation in its entirety: Harris B. McKee '61 Th '63 Recipient of the 2018-19 Alumni Award

"Hailing from a farm in Iowa, you attended a one-room schoolhouse during your elementary years. Though you expected to attend Iowa State in the footsteps of your family, that plan shifted when your outstanding performance on the football field and in the classroom attracted the attention of the Dartmouth football coaches. You were drawn to the Tuck- Thayer program, among other aspects of the College, and you made up your mind to head east to Hanover.

The Class of 1961 was the first for which the engineering science major existed, and you created a very detailed study schedule to keep you on track, earning the William Churchill First Year Prize for outstanding academic achievement and a record of contribution to fairness, respect for duty, and citizenship. Outside of academic hours, you lettered in football and track, joined the debate team, pledged SAE, and later were tapped for the Judiciary Committee, Green Key Society, Paleopitus, and Casque & Gauntlet. You were an active participant in student government, taking on roles including president of Mid-Mass dormitory and later the senior class. Highlights during these years included participating on the 1958 Ivy League Football Championship team, being inducted into Phi Beta Kappa as a junior, and delivering the valedictory address at Commencement.

Graduate studies led you to the Thayer School for an MS in engineering followed by a PhD in mechanical engineering at Stanford and later an MBA from Southern Methodist University. Active in ROTC as an undergraduate, you were also commissioned as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army and served on active duty. Your extensive career included stints in aerospace with NASA and McDonnell Douglas; snack-food engineering, research, and manufacturing with Frito-Lay; engineering for a manufacturing company and a publication printing company; engineering and quality assurance with Sunbeam Outdoor Products; and then finally with the investment company Edward Jones.

In addition to this very accomplished body of work, you have devoted countless hours to the College. Right off the bat, you served as class president for the great Class of 1961, and you have frequently been a member of your class executive committees over the years. Always adept with technology, you created and chaired the '61 virtual reunions and have been the class webmaster from the 45th reunion onward. That role has included handling class communications (you sent 52 emails last year!), and you have also co-edited the class newsletter and the 55th Reunion class directory. On the fundraising side, you served as a co-head agent. Involved in the Thayer School Annual Fund from its inception, your recent appearance at a CASE conference was a big hit with annual fund directors from other institutions. You served as president and secretary of the Dartmouth Club of St. Louis; district enrollment director (DED) for eastern Missouri; and alumni interviewer in St. Louis, Dallas, Cedar Rapids, Arkansas, and Chicago. Personal highlights include serving as DED for the eastern half of Missouri; growing the class website into a key part of class communications; and helping the class achieve the highest participation of any class in the Dartmouth College Fund.

How you found time to volunteer in your community is hard to fathom, but you did so with aplomb, becoming involved with your daughters' school and teams, the Unitarian Church, the Rotary, gardeners' associations, and now your Chicago residence Admiral at the Lake, among a plethora of other activities.

Of course, your fabulous wife Mary, whom you married shortly after graduation, has been an amazing supporter throughout this journey, as have your wonderful daughters Laura and Margaret.

In your valedictory address at the 1961 Commencement, you stated, "As President Dickey has so aptly stated, conscience must go hand in hand with competence." Harris, you have deftly brought both competence and conscience to everything you do. In recognition of your extraordinary dedication to your career, your community, and Dartmouth College, we are immensely proud to honor you with the Dartmouth Alumni Award."

(Here's a link to the Video: Click on McKee Video or copy and paste: https://player.vimeo.com/video/301864572 )

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HBM

Harris B. McKee '61 Th'63

While we're back at the Alumni Awards gala on Nov. 16, here are some photos which should be of interest to the class:

 

Rich & Roz

Councilmen Vic Rich [left] & AA Rozycki @217th Alumni Council Meeting 11/15-17/2018

 

Roz & Palmer

Alumni Councilmen Rozycki '61 and [ex-NBA] Walt Palmer '90 (son of the late Scott '59)

 

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In the same time frame football fans were notified by Dartmouth Athletics thus

Due to Tuesday's storm depositing a layer of ice several inches thick on the West Stands of Memorial Field, spectator seating will only be available on the East side when Dartmouth Football hosts Brown University on Saturday afternoon.

 

Although the temperature has yet to climb above freezing, Wednesday's sunshine melted just enough ice on the East Stands to allow crews to remove the remaining ice, but the West side – the traditional home stands – remained frozen solid.

:

A simple reminder that Hanover, NH, is still in the North Woods, and global warming advocates are advised to layer up.


 

Naegele

We had to give Bob Naegele short shrift in the last issue, as he passed away after the draft had gone into layout (Harris was able to change the text to simply mention that Naegs had died on November 7). Here was a guy who dearly loved his class, his family, his spiritual guide ("Jesus was the Good News I'd been searching for my entire life"), and life. In a printed obit, we see that "Bob graduated from Minnetonka High School in 1957, where he played hockey, football and tennis and later graduated from Dartmouth College ('61) in New Hampshire. He married his high school sweetheart Ellis Jean Fitzimons in 1961. For more than twenty years, he worked for and ultimately purchased (with brother Bill Naegele) and led Naegele Outdoor Advertising. In 1984, he invested in a hockey training product company, Ole's Innovative Sports—later renamed Rollerblade, Inc. Under his leadership, Rollerblade and the sport of inline skating became a national and international pastime. When he sold the company in 1995, he and Ellis made national news by sharing a percentage of the proceeds with every Rollerblade employee. In 1997, Bob and his family successfully led a group of MN investors in pursuing an NHL Expansion franchise, to bring professional hockey back to the state of Minnesota. In October of 2000, the Minnesota Wild was officially born, with Bob as lead investor and Chairman…He is survived by his childhood sweetheart and wife of 58 years, Ellis Fitzimons Naegele, daughters, Jennifer Jean Naegele, Jill Naegele Trautz, Trisha Naegele Hoyt, and son, Robert Otto Naegele III. Sons in law, John Trautz, Greg Hoyt and daughter in law, Karen Naegele and 10 grandchildren. Brother, William Otto Naegele, brother-in-law, Michael W. Fitzimons as well as, sisters-in-laws, Stephanie Naegele, and Susan Fitzimons." Naegs was an exemplary '61, a stalwart Kappa Sig, Sphinxter, played football and hockey, and generally made life fun for people around him. Along with the milestone achievements listed above, he also essentially created "Cheers": on a rainy 1958 Saturday in Cambridge, Naegs decided not to suit up for the football game that cold, wet, misty day and instead took a cab into Boston looking for diversion. Much to his delight, he "discovered" an old-time Beantown saloon where the beer was cheap and the ambience thick enough to slice; it was called The Eliot Lounge. On the team bus back to Hanover that dreary eve, Naegs could not stop talking about his new watering hole, and it eventually became a mandatory visit on roads trips to Boston for the Hanover cognoscenti. We heard the name so often during practice that a teammate of Bob's from Hawaii decided that Eliot Lounge was, in fact, an Injun football player—[stadium announcer] "Now playing for Dartmouth: Lounge; Eliot Lounge…" Well, you get the drift.  (full disclosure: our long friendship began back in Pea Green two-a-days of August '57, I later got his son-in-law Greg into Punahou, and Ellis ["Bulb"] remains the only other person I know born on December 25, 1939). It was a helluva run, Naegs, and you are sorely missed. Mai poina.

 

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ellie & Naegs

Ellis & Naegs in an Earlier Time

Naeg's Wake
At Naegele's Wake (LtoR): Mike Parish '62, Bud Schoening, Don O'Neill, Ellis Naegele, Jane Schoening

 

 

Roz-Skip-Paisan

Old Blackman Backs Reconnect in Portsmouth
, NH April 2018 (LtoR): RHB Al Rozycki, LHB Skip Johnson, FB Rich "Paisan" Marrone.

Not long after Naegele's passing, we lost another solid '61 when Robert Roy "Skip" Johnson slipped away on December 7 (aways a bad day for Hawaiians…). We were enthused to enjoy his company in September at the 60th Ivy Champs celebration for that '58 team—to lose him so soon thereafter was a shocker. Another dear buddy from early on, Skipper was the other half of our Bullet's Bobbsey Twins in '58: both left halfbacks, 6'-2", 194 lbs—and we both went on to USSteel after graduation; one notable difference was that he wrote his real name in tape on the back of his helmet, whereas our scribe, an inveterate wiseass, usually put something in Hawaiian like "Kamanawanalea"… He was also a winning pitcher for Tony Lupien, Prez of Zeta Psi, Sphinxter, and a damn fine piano player. Some scholastic intrigue led Skip to opt for "the little known 8-year plan" (which included army service), and he came back to play for Blackman on the '63 Ivy Champs, graduating in '65.

 

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Skip
Skip at '58 Ivy Champs Reunion, September 2018.

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Right around Christmastime, had a newsy note [excerpted here] from Jim "Workshop" Richards at his MN ski resort Maplelag: "Fall was super busy, and now full blast ahead for ski season and looks good. Some snow, would love some more, but we have been skiing since the 12th of November. It has been non-stop and the temps have been just fine. No below-zero periods to speak of, so easy to be out all day. Right now over 100 kids and three teams, and this weekend there will be close to 200 coming.

Had a nice trip to Thailand after we closed last March, and then a busy summer with chainsaw and mowing everyday on our 67 K's of trails.  But did have a short break for three weeks in Hong Kong: interesting, expensive, but a neat city and fantastic easy  transportation. Then busy Fall with lots of weddings, another short break to Thailand, and back here on the 13th of Nov.

 

Just got a letter from Bob Moore's wife and he is now in assisted living as the dementia bug has kicked in pretty big time for him. Other than that all is good.

And I am still counting my lucky stars to be alive after my accident in Sept of 2017 when a tree fell on me while clearing trails and I was in IC for three months. Helicopter to Fargo and they thought I was gone, but in good shape and a strong will to keep living, and still here.

 

You asked why Thailand?? 

Mary and I used to have our break in Puerto Vallarta and first went in 1962 when just a fishing village and three phones and 5 taxis in town.   Great weather always and a wonderful beach.  And super food, Italian (still top of my list) and some great German places too. So after the divorce I still looked forward to a sun break, but did not feel comfortable going to PV…I ended up going to the island of Boipeba. I loved it, great weather, interesting food, super seafood, and not too expensive.  A bit dicey sometimes from bad guys, so not out in the clubs late or in shady areas. But Brazilian Portuguese was a real challenge and I am a poor linguist to began with.  So I  grew frustrated and perhaps was seeking a change.

 

We have had two guests here at Maplelag for over 25 years, brothers born in Kenya of Swedish Lutheran Missionary parents. They were sent back to college here at Gustavus which is a Swedish-maybe background Lutheran college much like Luther, St. Olaf, Concordia. My daughter went to school there and her son is a freshman there now.

So into uncharted waters so to speak. Spent a lot of  time on the island of Lamu which is on the Somalia border, a Muslim village, no cars and very unique.  Interesting to watch the interaction of Kenyans and Somalias who hate each other, and Al Shabaab runs pretty footlooseseveral bombings and all. Of interest too that Minnesota has the largest Somali population outside of London. They game the system here in Minnesota.

 

Wanted a little change from the African Coast and a different beach venue, so about five years ago, decided to visit an old friend from high school who had moved to Thailand.  Had a great disability pension so could live a good life there. As he gets so few visitors from the States, he has been begging me to visit…Not knowing at all where he lived in Pattaya, I booked a condo rental and by sheer chance it was just a one-minute  walk from his gated community and his wonderful five-bedroom house. He was most welcoming and Thailand blew me away. Weather, food, cheap, no hustle or scams, and very different than Kenya. The only downside was that the beach was not the greatest and did not compare to Kenya or Brazil.

 

But a fantastic condo for $27/night, and 5-buck meals that you can't finish. A giant pool, a little food store with fresh milk, and ethnic restaurants galore. And, within a five-minute walk, 5 Norwegian restaurants... How many in Minnesota and North Dakota with such a large Norwegian population:  NONE

My friend had a stroke, right in front of me, two years ago.  They had to give up the house and move to their farm to which she is devoted (and rice growing which is almost spiritual) 7 hours away in Issan, and very primitive.  No running water, toilet, and cooking outside on a wood fire with a gas burner for boiling soup and hot water.  Pigs and chickens running amok. But wife takes good care of him. Probably no long-term recovery; Rehab comes out and they are very good. He could go back to USA and VA hospital, but he wants to be with family. Just sad to see him in that state. 

I also should mention cheap to get there: $900-$950 from Fargo.  A long jaunt for sure, but 3-hour Bollywood movies make the time fly. Much more expensive to fly to Hawaii from here.  You should consider a trip to Thailand.

    I spent two years in 1962-1963 on the Oregon Coast as we built—or tried to build—the north jetty at Tillamook. Lived in Garibaldi, so that area of the Coast is well known to me. Loved the crab, and it was very affordable and lots of it. The last days of true high lead logging, and that was something to watch. The rain drove me nuts and I wore my rain suit for 67 days straight as we worked 7 days a week.  Take a drive to the Coast—wonder if my favorite restaurant still there north of Garibaldi called Pirates Cove.

Take care, and the welcome mat is always out if you ever venture out to the Midwest. 

 

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At about the same time, John S. Edwards reported: "Cindy and I had the pleasure of hosting Roli Kolman'60 and Charlotte Khmer for Christmas. Roli enhanced the occasion by bringing photographs plus Dartmouth and Sports Illustrated magazines about the ['58] England rugby triumphs. Lots of great head shots of Roli. Apparently he was close to the SI photographer."

 

Edwards & Kolman

Old DRFC Ruggers Reconnect in AZ (LtoR): John Edwards, Cindy Edwards, Roli Kolman, Charlotte Khmer.

 

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LONDON MINI. Next up: the jolly good London mini-reunion / joint 80th birthday hoot, May 15-18, 2019. Volunteer Chairpersons Frank & Dawn Stephens have updated the agenda which is posted on class website; click on London Agenda pls to review. (Note April 17 deadline for special Hotel rate.)

Potential attendees have been considering many semi-related activities to augment the actual London event, such as a visit to Normandy and the beaches/landmarks of Operation Overlord 6 June 1944, a walking tour of the Lake Country, various destinations in France, and sundry other endeavors (a pub crawl in Dublin…?). Start massaging your calendars.

 

women
We are looking forward to the London Mini-Reunion coming up in mid-May. While the Arslanians helped get the ball rolling at a delightful luncheon with Frank and Dawn Stephens at London's oldest restaurant, Rules established in 1798, during a UK visit, magazine deadlines prevent them joining the festivities. Frank's done a great job and we know that Dawn provided more than moral support for the reunion.
Kudos to the Class of 1961 Executive Committee for working to amend the class constitution to include spouses and widows as honorary members of the class with full voting privileges (one vote per couple or widow).  The amendment not only acknowledges the role spouses have played in class activities through the years, it formalizes their continued participation into the future.
What we've realized at our various gatherings through the years is that our era's women not only play an important supporting role in our mate's activities, we pursue our own interests as well as keeping track three generations of birthdays and achievements. Where in the past a woman's place might have been in the home, today her place is everywhere and anywhere.
As our Women's Initiative is about sharing what's on our minds and what we're up to, a page has been included in the Dartmouth 61 Website especially for us. To submit anything—photos, essays poetry, recommendations, recipes, etc.  Send to nyla@discoverhollywood.com or patti354@aol.com.  (Important Note to Men: Share WWW with your mate and to make sure we have her email address.)
Nyla Arslanian and Patti Rich

 

Bartlett Tower Society (BTS) Co-Chair Dave Armstrong reports our class is now up to 66 members of the Bartlett Tower Society, 2nd high of all Dartmouth Classes. Contact Red Facher or Dave Armstrong to see how you can become a member. This is a great program. Doesn't take any contribution now--only when you are gone and won't miss it.

 

DCF Input from Co-Head Agents McKee, Eberhardt, & McArt note that  our class has been a leader in the Dartmouth College Fund Drive. Last year we had a higher participation at 77.3% than any other class. Thank you if you have already contributed to the 2018-19 DCF. If you haven't yet contributed, here's a link that will take you to directions for contributing securely online or for contributing by mail or phone. Click on Give Now

Fall Mini--Maynard Wheeler has announced our Fall Mini October 11 - 13, 2019 in Hanover. It's homecoming, the Yale game, Student Reports, and Class meeting. Click on Fall Mini Letter for details.

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On Valentine's Day Al Rozycki circulated an e-mail featuring "Earthrise" and the NASA Apollo 8 details surrounding what is reputed to be the most famous photo of all time—from Dec. 24, 1968. Connie Persels responds: "This Picture and all Apollo pictures hold a special meaning for me.  I worked on the Apollo Program from the summer of 1963 through 1968, but was on campus at the University of Florida working on my PhD at the time of this picture. When working on Apollo, I was part of a GE team in Daytona Beach assigned the task of determining the probability of Mission Success and Crew Safety. As such we had to analyze every phase of the mission.

I was not familiar with back story of this Picture so thanks again

It was a magical time for me and, I would like to believe, for the Nation."

BZ, Conrad! [ed.]

While still in aerospace mode, follows is a photo from Jim McElhinney, taken when [the late] Bill Miller, aka Malibu Fatz, was in PR for Lockheed:

 

McElhenny & Fatz Miller
Capt. Billy Bitchen of the Royal Malibu Pursuit Squadron Says "Come Fly with Me" (LtoR) Jim McElhinney, Judy Miller, Malibu Fatz.

 

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On March 10, Stu Sheldon responded to greetings: "Thank you very much for your kind birthday wishes on, yes, #80!!!  Diana and I are enjoying sunny FL here on Useppa Island. We are really enjoying our summer spot in Maggie Valley, NC. Hope this finds you in good health.    Stu and Diana"

Green Card: Tony Horan notes: "In the spring I went to the Mini at Newport under pressure from my roomie Maynard Wheeler. I introduced my twin sister who went to the Dartmouth Ski School age 11. She will be publishing on Amazon a book about our Suffragette grandmother as seen by our mother who married Frank Horan'22 and produced two Dartmouth sons.  Re. mountaineering: Marcie & I used the Sunset High Sierra Camp as an advanced base for the ascent of Cloud's Rest, 10,000 feet at >5miles each way.  I fully retired in June 2018 and am at work on a catalogue of all my art, some from Dartmouth days, and a scientific biography of the husband of the Suffragette above, some journals too."

 

Football at The House That Ruth Built: Lest ye forget, the Big Green (fka Injuns) will play Princeton at Yankee Stadium on November 8, 2019.

According to the Bulletin Harris has circulated:

Class of '61 Block at Yankee Stadium. We have placed a hold on 30 seats for the members of the Class of 1961 at the Dartmouth-Princeton Football game in Yankee Stadium on 11/9/19. Our seats are in Section 110, Rows 20, 21, 22 & 23. 

To purchase tickets in this block you have two options:

  1. Go to an exclusive link created for the Class of 1961 to purchase these tickets online. Click the link below to the ticket page, click on section 110 (you may want to zoom in with the magnifying glass icon in the top right) and select the seats you want to purchase. Class of 1961 Seats at Yankee Stadium.
  2. Call the Dartmouth Ticket Office (603-646-2466) and ask to be seated in the Class of 1961 seats in section 110.

As Malibu Fatz [above] would say: "Be there or be square!"

 

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Virtual Reunion on 61st Day of 2019 Organizer McKee reports lighter attendance this year but shares some of the photos that are also posted on the website.

 

Eberhardt
Laurie & Henry Eberhardt

: Grumbacher
Tim Grumbacher

Evans
Bob Evans

Rox Fields etal
Rox & Fred Fields, Robin Logan (Fred's former Ass't), tc

Hecht
Mike Hecht

O'Neill
Don O'Neill

GoodridgeTom Goodridge w.dau Chris '91

low
Curt Low

McKee
Harris McKee

Phipps

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As we are one of those classes that is all men (save Winkie…), Maynard submits some [old] notes which remain valid nonetheless.

Men Are Just Happier People!  What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. Chocolate is just another snack.  You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park… You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Your underwear is $8.95 for a five-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. Wrinkles add character.

NICKNAME. If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild Man.

EATING OUT.  When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

OFFSPRING. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children:  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. NATURAL. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MARRIAGE.  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

Well…?

The reasons for the slump in sales at Harley Davidson are not Pres. Trump's fault.

Apparently the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles.

Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn't buying any at all.

A recent study was done to find out why Millennials don't ride motorcycles:

 1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.

 2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.

 3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.

 4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.

 5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.

 6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.

 7 Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.

 8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.

 9. They are allergic to fresh air.

10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.

11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.

12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.

13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.

14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.

15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.

16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.

17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.

18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.

19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.

20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.

21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.

22. Can't get the motorcycle down the basement stairs of their parent's home.

 

Spectacular skier of yore, Victoria "Torri" Kohler, plumbing supply heiress, inquires:

"Is Otter still alive?   He was my first date at AD.  Sort of a date, I guess.   Anyway, he was the person who started my fun and games at AD."

We assured her the man portrayed by Tim Matheson in "Animal House" is still flourishing, in Vallejo, CA

 

Aloha pumehana, 
tc.

 

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