Loos, Kenneth D. (3/27/2000)

From our 30th reunion memorial service

Kenneth Loos was a member of Dartmouth’s 1978 Ivy League Championship football team. He received his master’s in petroleum geology at the University of Cincinnatti and was working in Egypt, where he died unexpectedly in 2000.

From the Washington Post:

Kenneth Dingwell Loos Dies at 43

Kenneth Dingwell Loos, 43, a native Washingtonian and petroleum geologist for BP Amoco in Cairo, died March 27, 2000, in Cairo. He collapsed and lost consciousness while playing softball. Medical treatment on the scene failed to revive him. The cause of death has not been determined.

Mr. Loos was a 1975 graduate of Sidwell Friends School, where he played baseball and football. He graduated from Dartmouth College, where he was an All-Ivy offensive guard on the 1978 Dartmouth team that won the Ivy League football championship.

After college, he worked as a geologist in mining camps in Idaho, Montana and Arizona, then in 1985 received a master’s degree in petroleum geology at the University of Cincinnati.

He then began his career with Amoco in Houston. In 1992, he was posted to Norway, and from there worked on the North Sea oil fields. He was transferred to Egypt in 1997.

Survivors include his wife, Jennifer, whom he married in 1987, and three children, Jonathan, Katherine and Claire, all of Cairo; his parents, Dickson and Beatrice Loos of Bethesda; four sisters; and a brother.

Eulogy for Kenneth Dingwell Loos
October 6, 1956 – March 27, 2000

It’s not fair! How many times have we spoken, thought or heard those words over the years – a typical child’s lament when asked to perform some meaningless chore. This week those words have taken on an entirely new meaning for me and I would venture for most of us here today.

We all knew and loved Ken differently – as a brother, a son, a husband, a father, a friend or relative through his marriage. Our loss is great and weighs heavily on our hearts but we are also filled with compassion for those around him, especially Jennifer and their children, Jonathon, Katherine and little Claire. Tears and uncertainty cloud our vision for them; but I know all of you join me, my sisters, our mother and father and Jennifer’s family in a commitment to provide whatever support and guidance is needed, not only in the days ahead, but also in the months and years that lie before them.

And so, as we place one foot in front of another and begin our journey down a new road we will find strength in the memories of Ken, as we knew him – the strong, compassionate and loving man that he was.

I know that I cannot do justice to Ken’s life in the few minutes we have together this morning. The fact is, he did so much, had so many friends and touched so many people that it would take the better part of a week to reflect on, laugh and cry together as we shared remembrances of his brief 43 years. And still we would need more time. Frankly, Ken gave us a lot of material to work with!

We should start with our mother, Beatrice, who brought him into the world – second son, fourth child and the biggest baby of the lot (was there ever any doubt he would grow to mastodon proportions and eventually strike fear into the hearts of defensive linemen). As a young, and growing, family we were often infected by his impish grin and sometimes-devious little mind. Who hasn’t heard about the now famous water balloon incident at age ten when he ran from me, fearing for his life after a bull’s eye to the back of my head? Even before that incident, he was always running, very light on his feet as a chunky youngster, and I clearly recall the often heard question from my mother, “Where’s Kenneth?”

Later, as he learned to focus his energy and strength he grew into a gifted athlete, mastering swimming, football, hockey, baseball and golf. Well, maybe not quite golf, but given the time I’m sure he would have. Many of you who knew Ken later in his life may not have known that he was a swimmer. He certainly doesn’t have the build of a swimmer. But, what he lacked in style he made up for in shear strength and willpower. As a 10 & under swimmer he set the pool record at Chevy Chase Club in 1967; a record that stood for more than 25 years.

His love of the game was legendary. And Ken wanted to win as much as anyone, sharing each victory with his teammates and taking full responsibility for each loss. With experience and maturity he found that giving 100% was just as important than winning. Although I do remember one particular Harvard-Dartmouth game, one of those rare losses, after which he boarded the team bus and left his family waiting at our house for the guest of honor! Ken continued to participate in team sports long after his school days were behind him and would never miss an opportunity to pick up a ball and glove when the honor of his team was at stake. In fact, you should all know that his last minutes on earth were with his companions, on the softball field, doing what he loved.

Ken was a champion, not only on the playing field, but also in his family life, where it really mattered. Even with a demanding and at times unpredictable schedule at work, he found the time, no, he made the time, to play ball with his children, working with them and eventually coaching their school teams, hoping to instill in them his love of the game. I have heard that he was a masterful teacher, helping each child on his teams to excel in their own way regardless of their ability. He never raised his voice in anger, which is all the more remarkable for an ex-football and hockey jock. With this kind of leadership is it any wonder that Jonathon is following in his footsteps and Katherine is not far behind.

His love of life extended as well to the great outdoors where he was an avid hunter and fisherman. I recall our father taking us to Tizzard’s Island, when Ken was about eleven, for the opening day duck hunt. From this rustic hunting lodge we would trudge into the damp, dark, cold predawn to sit and wait, and wait. Ken loved it. He loved the whole experience. Oh, he got more than his fair share of game; he was a good hunter, but this was our, his, coming of age; this is where the Loos boys started their transition to manhood.

As his own family started to grow, Ken could be found among the mountains and streams of Norway, introducing Jonathon and Katherine to the joys and occasional trials of outdoor living. Here he was equally comfortable talking about the finer points of fly-fishing as he was instructing his friends and family on the geological wonders of the rocks around him. Here he pursued the elusive salmon for five long years. Some say it was determination, some say stubbornness and a few said he was just hardheaded about the whole thing. Nonetheless, during his last week in Norway he finally landed that salmon! I understand there were witnesses, but I am sure they have been sworn to secrecy, so few of us will ever know the true size of that mythical fish. As a footnote to this story, I should point out that Ken’s son Jonathon, caught his first salmon earlier that year, twisting fate ever so slightly to have the father walking in the son’s footsteps.

Like most young families, their busy schedules kept everyone on the run many days. So they would stay in touch through post-it notes left on the refrigerator, on a door or even on a pillow. These weren’t just notes with the “what, when and where” of schedules, but notes that told of how much the family loved each other. This is a time when children look up to their Mom and Dad as the greatest people on earth. And they are. At bedtime Jonathon would ask his Mom to scratch his back and Katherine would ask her dad to lie down with her for a few minutes. Ken, whenever he was home, would grant Katherine her wish – a few moments of quiet time for each to be grateful for what they have.

And with Jennifer, Ken pursued his dreams. And what dreams they were. How many us will ever do half of what he has done in his abbreviated life? From the mountains of Idaho to the U.S. Gulf Coast to the North Sea and the Gulf of Suez, he thrived with each new assignment. The pictures from their family trips to the alps, the fjords and the pyramids are filled with smiles and happiness that accompany a family in love with adventure. And yet, some dreams remain unfulfilled. Dreams of a log cabin on their property in Taos, New Mexico; the opportunity to enjoy the mountain country with their children; to find their place in America after years of ex-patriot existence. Individual dreams provide a wonderful source of inspiration, but shared dreams sustain, nurture and give meaning to a relationship. This takes time and hard work, both of them contributing plenty of sweat equity. But they had the Spirit to get them where they wanted to go. And that Spirit lives on.

I last shook Ken’s hand on July 2, 1999. I wish now it had been more than a handshake. The occasion was Mom and Dad’s fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration at Skytop Lodge in Pennsylvania. It was a joyous and exhausting week for all of us; all twenty-seven members of the Loos clan gathered together to play golf and tennis, to fish, to eat, drink and be merry, and to chase after young children. What occurred to me during that week is that we are not just family, but we are also friends – in-laws and outlaws alike. We all left Skytop with a renewed appreciation of these friendships and family ties.

Over the last several days, I have talked with people from all over the world calling to express their disbelief and shock on hearing the unfortunate news. Many could barely contain their emotions; some are sitting here today; all count themselves as friends of Ken. From the many testimonials I have listened to I am sure your friendships enriched Ken’s life as much as his friendship enriched your own. His loyalty to his valued friends and most of all to his family is one of his most endearing traits.

I would like to conclude with a brief prayer that at least helps me find solace in the events of this past week:

O Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen
  and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever
  of life is over, and our work is done. Then in thy mercy, grant us
  a safe lodging, and a holy rest and peace at the last.

Ken, we pray for you. But most of all, we pray that you will look over us and guide us with your steady hand and watchful eye. Amen.

Read by Karl D. Loos
Written from the hearts of Ken’s brother and sisters.
April 1, 2000

In memory of Kenneth Loos, the Class of 1979 has purchased the following book for Baker Library:

Archaeology of the Appalachian Highlands, Lynne Syllivan and Susan Prezzano, ed.